make me skinny

Mon, 14 May 2007 01:21:20 GMT

Becoming a recluse

I feel like I'm becoming a real recluse. I phoned in sick to work last week for 3 days, not even sure if I was really sick? I did feel shit but think it may have been from not eating much at all for days mixed with tiredness and depression. Lay on my couch with the curtains closed watching TV. Didn't answer the door or phone. Went back to work for a half day and felt so bad having to be seen in public. Don't mind going places where noone knows me but at work I am beginning to feel people are looking at me thinking how ugly I am. I am going to phone in sick to work Mon and Tue, can't face being seen. Don't know where all of this has come from cos I do like my job and have never taken time off in this way before. I want to take the whole week off but making myself go in on Wednsday. Just want to stay in the house, I know that if I do this I wont have to eat until dinner time when my partner comes home. Getting worried bout myself

ok day but a bit weapy

Fri, 11 May 2007 01:38:59 GMT

not posted in the journal or forum for a while. Been doing loads at work which has messed up my gym routine - basicaly iv not been for 3 weeks. As a result I have failed the 1000 cals challenge and my 'healthy eating' is down the drain. Been eating 400 cals this week, can't bring myself to eat more if im not exercising.

Worried! Think my metabolism is a total mess now cos of lack of gym and low cal intake. Been drinking lotsof green tea to try and help.

Weapy. Feel like a freak...burst out crying in the bank yesterday and nearly burst out crying at work today for no reason.......

My back aches, my teeth and hair r a mess.......and my thighs r still massive!!!!

calm day!

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 22:45:01 GMT

Not feeling stressed today like yesterday. I managed to skip lunch and dinner without anyone noticing...yeeehaaa! But I couldn't bring myself to eat 1000 cls today so hope that doesn't mess up the challenge? I ate:
small bowl of cereal -200
fruit bar - 100
Mixed fruit salad -200
TOTAL - 500
I didn't go to the gym today so think that's why I couldn't bring myself to eat any more, But I did walk round the shops with my mum for 7 hours. Feel fat but not stressed.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:48:12 GMT

I'm so stressed, my boyf is totally picking up on my eating habits. He was questioning me on what I had eaten all day and I'm sure he didn't believe me (obviously I was lying) but he usually believes me. Then he said how he was worried about me and I flew off the handle (totally grumpy with low blood sugar) and we had a big fight. We made up but I'm so stressed cos I know he will be watching me all the time now. Also, I really hate fighting with him and all the lying. I feel awful. I HATE THIS THING ITS FUCKING MY LIFE UP! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 23:05:51 GMT

Doing the 1000 calorie challenge, so worried bout eating that much but need to trust those who say it will boost metabolism and help weight loss. Burned 400 - 500 cals each day at gym this week while eating 1000, so will weigh myself on Monday to see if I've lost. I better had or I'm gonna feel soooo bad. Please, please,please let me loose weight from my disgusting thighs!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 00:11:57 GMT

Hey

I'm fairly new to all this forum stuff but find it helps. Feel free to add me as a friend for some chats and general support.....